Am I OK?
The seat your mind returns to

Does any of this sound like you?

• "Why am I like this?" runs through your head more than you'd like.
• Another person's small mistake is weirdly hard to let go of.
• Scrolling social media leaves you feeling like everyone's doing better than you.
• Some part of you assumes it won't work out anyway.
• Even with people close to you, showing the real thing feels risky.
• Under stress, you automatically check what you did wrong.

However you answer, it points to the seat your mind tends to sit in — what TA calls your life position.

What's a "life position"?

Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, noticed that as children we each make two quiet decisions: "Am I okay?" and "Are other people okay?"

The combination of those two answers shapes a lifetime of relationships, self-esteem, and how we handle conflict. There are four seats:

Here's how it actually plays out

"I'm OK, you're not" tends to keep score and correct — and feels right while the people around it slowly shrink. A common road to a late-life estrangement, with real loneliness underneath.

"I'm not OK, you're OK" is the seat most tied to low mood: constant comparison, reading rejection as proof of your own worth. Social media hurts most from here.

"Neither of us is OK" is the deepest and heaviest — linked to chronic depression and cut-off. If this one runs strong, professional support genuinely matters (see the numbers in the footer).

"I'm OK, you're OK" isn't something we're simply born into — it's a seat we reach through conscious work. It's the goal of TA itself.

What this test will show you

• The seat you tend to sit in day to day
• Where you slide to under stress
• The deeper root of your relationship patterns
• What this seat quietly costs — and how to move